Free writing

For my 50th post I did some free writing.

Once upon a time there was a man. His name was Bob. Bob spent as much time in water as possible because he likes to bob. Once he didn't go in water for 1 week and he literally ran over to the ocean and as soon as he hit the water he tripped and seaweed got stuck up his nose. Attached to the seaweed was a crab and he pinched Bob’s nose. He pulled the seaweed out of his nose and threw it back into the water, about 10 feet away. Unfortunately this just made the crab angrier and the crab jumped down and pinched his toe. The crab then walked off in search of the seaweed. Then Bob went and bobbed some more and by that time it was 5:00 PM. He then rushed home and was forced to eat his asparagus and brussel sprouts. Then he filled up the bath, got back in his togs, hopped in and started to bob once again.

Then it was Monday. As much as you could think “How is he able to survive a day at school without bobbing?” He somehow manages to. First he has a breakfast of two vegemite toast then he goes over to his friends house. “Hi Fred” Bob says. “Hi” Fred replies. By this time it was 8:30 and it was a 15 minute walk to school. As they walked they talked. They like talking about comics and what they did over the weekend. When they got to school they sat down at art class. They painted their favourite superhero Toilet Man. He has a toilet plunger sword and a toilet seat shield. In Bob’s picture Toilet Man was fighting the Slime Army. In Fred’s he was defeating the Rotten Rats. I don’t know why their favourite superhero is Toilet Man nor he’s defeating the Rotten Rats or the Slime Army. The names just came to me at the time. 

Anyway after art class had finished they moved to maths. They needed to finish 15 problems to get a grade or its a an automatic F. The first question was Car A began a journey from a point at 9 am, travelling at 30 mph. At 10 am car B started travelling from the same point at 40 mph in the same direction as car A. At what time will car B pass car A? If you're curious what the answer was its 13 pm or 1 pm is when car B passes car A. Then he moves to science and they were studying plants…. Bob fell asleep. He got woken up by the bell for lunch and he pulled out his turkey sandwich. Fred had a PB&J sandwich. After lunch he has 1 more class the one he despises most. 

Social studies. I’m not going to bore you with the details but he gets slammed with a pop quiz and he gets the grade F. He doesn’t bother to study for social studies he doesn't even bring his homework home. He “accidentally drops” it on the walk home. When he gets home he runs the bath, hops in his togs and jumps in and starts bobbing. This happens until Saturday when he goes to his favourite place in the world the pools. On Sunday he goes to the his second most Favorited place, the water park.

The next day they had a school trip. To the museum about Egypt. It even made you thirsty just listening to it. Sadly The museum has no drinking fountains. It was torture for Bob having to listen to a things in a desert. Bob couldn't stand learning about a place with no water. So... He plan #1 into action. He lay in bed and acted like he was sick. "Ohhhh Owwwwww" Bob moaned. His mum fell for it. But then she saw me eat half a box of cereal. she says I need to go to school. Plan #1 FAIL Plan #2 activate. "I will miss the school bus" Bob protested. His mum said "I'll drive you to school. Uh-oh plan #1 and #2 have been a failure and I don't have a plan #3 meaning UHGGGGGG. At school I try plan #1 again, except in my chair not my bed. (see paragraph 5 line 4.) The teacher sends me to the sick bay. But when they say they'll call mum I get butterflies in my stomach.

Mum is not happy. She knows i'm faking it. But she is a little suspicious of the fact i'm faking sick on a school trip day. So mum comes to talk to me. She asks where i'm going to a trip to. Bob says The museum of the Egypt. His mum instantly knows why he's been faking sick and takes him home. Bob fills the bath, gets in his togs, and bobs away.