Show not tell exercise 2

Mary was hopping up and down like some apples being juggled because her older sister Jan was going to take her shopping at the mall to get a new piece of clothing that would fit."Hurry Mary we'll be late. We have to leave in a few minutes," Jan yelled frantically yelled. "Hurry up!!!".
"But sister I can't find my other shoes!" Mary whinged. Jan picked up her car keys off the bench and walked towards the door. Mary thought she would leave without her. She started to run round the house frantically trying to find her shoes.

It was the last stretch of the finals match of the basketball competition. Tama was shooting a free throw penalty shots. First he jumped and threw the ball towards the hoop. It spun round and round but fell out. He sighed, you heard the audience groan “Oh”. He took a deep breath and tried to clear his mind. He threw it another time making it soar through the air hitting the rim but didn’t not go in. “The last one”  he thought. His heart was pounding and sweat was dripping off his forehead. He jumped and threw it.... ...But it went right over the entire hoop! The audience went “Booooo!” Tama barged past the player, stormed off the court and went and slumped in the corner.

I did this with francis and this is a show not tell.